Thursday, June 19, 2014

Terminal Fear

Terminal Fear

Four short letters for something so crippling. Facing death isn’t the scary part. I’ve always thought of it as going to sleep.

It’s the happening; the potential events leading to it that terrify me. I’d prefer fast and painless—faster than asphyxia or drowning. Once, I choked on a meatball when I was at home all by myself. A complete airway obstruction. I couldn’t breathe and nothing else mattered when that next breath couldn’t come. I inhale, remembering how I knocked myself against the counter top. I don’t much care for being beaten to death, either, and I’m in no condition to put up much of a fight without risking him. And I will not risk him. As I pray, I am crushed by guilt for my trespasses, which flash before me. My erroneous behavior that resulted in the video, my poor judgment, petty thoughts and jealousies, fights with Lily and Noah. Neglecting Evan—a truth withheld is no different than a lie. Oh, God, I need help. I will die someday and when that time comes I’ll be ready, but not tonight, Lord. Please. Not like this. Protect me. Open my eyes to see a way out. Help me think through the confusion. Tell me what to do.

I think over the desperate prayer and realize I’ve neglected the most important part. This is what I want, but You know better. So, let Your wil be done. I withhold the Amen, knowing I’m nowhere near finished. When I blink, my lashes no longer press against anything. The blindfold seems to have slipped down over my nose, not all the way, but enough to see. It’s still dark, but there’s a shape to the darkness. A hysterical cry wants to escape, but something tells me I should avoid making unnecessary noise. I can tell through the trace amounts of dim light that filter through the edges I am inside a trunk, but not the kind I thought. It has sharp corners and a lid like a rectangular storage box. Where it has—I have—been stashed, I have no idea, but I know I’m travelling. I feel the twists and turns and hear the constant drone of an engine.

A jolt, and the smooth ride becomes rough. A jagged pinging noise sounds from below as the swaying motion of turns becomes more frequent, near constant. We must be close to wherever we’re heading. As I think it, the car halts. So does my heart. Listening intently for any sign of my impending demise, my senses seem to sharpen. There’s a muffled thud that sounds like a door. Silence. Waiting. Everything is dreadfully quiet. I can actually hear the stillness. Even my thoughts are a whisper, barely intelligible over the buzz in my ears.

Keep in touch with A.R. Rivera
Twitter: @girlnxtdr2u
Get Between Octobers now on Amazon

About the Author:
A.R. Rivera was born in Portland, Oregon. The absolute, unyielding love she received from her parents gave her a light-hearted attitude that doesn’t let her take take life too seriously and gives her the confidence to believe she can move any mountain in her way. 

Some years ago, she read a little book by a lady with the surname of Meyer. Then she read the next three. In the process, she fell back in love with reading and it sparked a passion in her she never knew she had.

Today, she spends every minute she can with her sons and husband, sharing an abiding faith and love with them as she nurtures her soul with writing.

About Between Octobers

Between Octobers is the newest novel from Take Two Publishing and the debut novel for author A.R. Rivera. 

A single decision can change life in an instant.

Grace Zuniga, a yearling widow, is convinced she could never fall in love again. She has surrendered to her quiet life on a quiet street in a world that revolves around her two young sons—until the moment she steps into an elevator.

Evan, also known as Rhys Matthews, is a typical Hollywood playboy. He’s used to women falling all over him, but Grace is different. She makes him believe in love at first sight and in himself. She’s thoughtful, beautiful, and intelligent—the opposite of his usual type and the woman he never knew he always wanted.

It’s an ordinary October day when the two meet in an elevator and embark on a romance that is anything but ordinary.

The following October, Grace is living out a normal day until she suddenly finds herself trapped and struggling to get away from a faceless woman. Terrified, Grace can think of nothing but her motivation—her sons, Evan, all the mistakes she thought she had time to make up for, and a love she will give anything to keep. Stumbling through her bleak circumstances, Grace relives the past year and thinks of all that has happened between Octobers.

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